Post by Lisa Frankenstein on Feb 17, 2020 20:25:51 GMT -5
Lisa Seldon looked like shit. There was no nice way to dress it up, much like her face. After two months spilling her guts all around Japan, she decided to celebrate by getting her face carved up and then blown up in a cage. And although she’d technically been victorious, she looked anything but a winner.
Lisa winced as she smiled and adjusted a thick set of sunglasses, doing what little they could to hide a halo of bruising around her eyes.
About the only saving grace was that the other guy looked worse. And the other guy was Aoki.
“When Coup De Grace rolls around, I will have wrestled Aoki, in one form of another, conservatively some 4000 times.
From Kamikaze, to After Dark, to King’s Road, to DTW and finally to here in Union Battleground. I said once long ago I was going to fight him until one or both of us died, and now every company in the world has tried to take me up on that offer. We actually just got done fighting right now, me and him in Japan. Cage of Fucking Death to decide who is the big name in Deathmatch wrestling today.
It was me by the way, in case you couldn’t tell by looking at me.”
Tonight the world tour had brought us to the famous hot springs of the Guadalupe Canyon, where we found her lounging all the way back in a simmering peagreen soup.
John Steinbeck had passed through here in his travels. He wrote that the very air here is miraculous and the outlines of reality change with the moment. Conversely losangelesswimmin said it was a place where you will get dirty, you will get naked and you will blackout and wake up with a pretzel stuck to your balls.
Lisa had only seen the second review when she plotted out the trip and figured it’d be a good place to soak her litany of wounds before she had to go out and make a few more.
“And that’s just the two of us. You can just as easily see Aoki and Ana tearing the face off each other at Bloodsport or Fukushima and I building title reigns off the backs of each other or an absurdity of tags and multimans in every combination you can possibly conceive.
Cats and Zombies are just natural enemies and there’s no way to keep us apart.”
She nodded off to her side, quite matter of fact. Her partner, reign 4CW champion and future diabetic coma survivor, responded in kind. She sat up on the edge off to Lisa’s right, absentmindedly treading water, thinking about nothing in particular.
Being a winner certainly had its perks.
“Fighting the Zombies is a Sisyphian task. Win or lose they just won't go away. Also there are like hundreds of them and most of them are just cannon-fodder. Like Kowloon. Fuck Kowloon. Stupid little bitch.
The long and short of all this is that fighting the Zombies is a sort of never ending hell dream and I’m running low on good one liners, but if this is what the division needs then I’ll happily make hats from all their faces and wear them to the after party.
Right now you could say they’re in the ascendancy. We got a little back in Japan the other week, but they still got to go home holding the gold. I would argue against that on a number of fronts. Firstly, we’re never on the backfoot.”
She stopped herself for a drink. A fruity looking concoction garnished with little umbrellas and chunks of fruit, really trying to sell the scene. A couple hours from now they’d either be passed out or shotgunning lukewarm cans out of the shallow end, but for now we had an image to maintain.
“Certainly we lost to them at the last time of asking, but we’ve lost before and always come back stronger. We lost our shot at the Rose City titles before we clawed our way back them, we crashed out of the Southside never ending tag tournament - two years later and probably still going strong - before we came here to put our claim to being the top team in the world, then while the Zombies were doing their victory lap with our titles, we regrouped in FGA with a DDT3 tournament win.
Teams in this sport die because they can’t handle a loss but we’ve never stopped. We’ve been back winning and winning well. Down but never out, learning from our mistakes. Meanwhile they’re being led out to slaughter by a man built for failure.”
Lisa put her free hand up to the camera to defend herself.
“Aokigahara has had an excellent few years and a number of big wins, but fundamentally the guy is only looking for a glorious end and that doesn’t mean him walking away with his head held high.
He’s a fighter, but he’s also a liability. He’ll keep swinging, he’ll keep coming at you, but while you’re trying to stop him he’s trying to let you and he’ll bring the whole team down with him. You don’t back a horse that’s begging for you to get your gun and you don’t pin your hopes on a man who is hoping the next time you beat him, he doesn’t wake up.”
Lisa took a polite little sip. Probably popping a few stitches in her side as she did.
“Fukushima meanwhile is a game contender, a certified champion, but she’s also a really good listener and she’s learning stupid from the master. A dude who had his brain beaten to pulp until it dribbled out his ear. Mostly by me.
She has been spoon fed his drivel every time they’ve left her in front of a camera, and when she is deigned to talk it’s the same psychoanalytic white noise bullshit we’d get if he was on his own.
Fukushima doesn’t think we do enough to acknowledge our losses, but then so does Aoki and every other cunt we’ve blown past on the way up the ladder. I guess because there’s only so much you can say when you’re constantly trying to fight off your back.”
Lisa finished her drink and thought about leaving it on the rock edge behind her. A few awkward attempts at a turn and she instead decided to hoof it over her head, where it shattered into a dozen little consequences she’d been dealing with later.
“Everyone says we won't handle our losses? I think every single one of you cares far too much. I think you all talk a good game but you’ve got fragile egos that come apart the second you have confront your own failures and can’t stand the fact that we don’t feel the same.
We were able to clear out the entire division in one night because nobody else could handle the fact that they might have more to learn. We were able to bring the best teams in the world together because we weren’t afraid of the consequences if we didn’t win.”
Lisa lazily flapped a hand at her partner, the searing vapours clearly starting to take effect.
“Ana here crashed out of the scene and survived two of those stupid Warzone of Horror things before she took back her 4CW World title, I over turned a losing streak in the Carnage Carnival to claw my way back and win the whole fucking thing from Aoki.
I mean sure, I look like I’ve been trying to wash my face in a fucking blender, but that’s beside the point. We have come down hard on everyone we’ve faced, but we’ve never been afraid to take a punch. And we lose as much as anyone. We’ve just never let it hold us back.
Especially Ana. Loses all the time.”
Without looking down Ana kicked a stream of water right across her bow. A warning shot, just in case there were any questions about whether or not she was still listening.
“If you leave this whole thing in the hands of the Zombies, they’ll shoot creepy little videos every other week and hope someone else goes out and does the leg work for them, because this doesn’t mean even half as much to them as it does to us.”
Lisa lurched forward, awkwardly and painfully, while the waters clouded around her.
“I came to Union because I thought it was the coolest fucking place in the world. I wanted a voice in the community and I thought this was the place to get it. I was proud to be a champion here, happier to do it with Ana, happier still to help build a division. Last time it cost us but I don’t regret it, because that match was about something bigger than us, but now we look forward.
I have probably the best partner in the world beside me. Together we’re the team that scoured the world, were willing to face anyone, happy to answer the questions no one else was even willing to ask. We made your reign a possibility and now we’re going to take it right back.
And if Union Battleground is ready to take its place back at the forefront of this sport, then we want to be right there leading the charge. Same as before.
Time to remind everyone who keeps this show running.”
On that she sat back, sucking at her teeth as she pressed her back into the stone. Ana looked down and offered her a shrug. She’d probably be fine. Tomorrow. Mostly.
Lisa winced as she smiled and adjusted a thick set of sunglasses, doing what little they could to hide a halo of bruising around her eyes.
About the only saving grace was that the other guy looked worse. And the other guy was Aoki.
“When Coup De Grace rolls around, I will have wrestled Aoki, in one form of another, conservatively some 4000 times.
From Kamikaze, to After Dark, to King’s Road, to DTW and finally to here in Union Battleground. I said once long ago I was going to fight him until one or both of us died, and now every company in the world has tried to take me up on that offer. We actually just got done fighting right now, me and him in Japan. Cage of Fucking Death to decide who is the big name in Deathmatch wrestling today.
It was me by the way, in case you couldn’t tell by looking at me.”
Tonight the world tour had brought us to the famous hot springs of the Guadalupe Canyon, where we found her lounging all the way back in a simmering peagreen soup.
John Steinbeck had passed through here in his travels. He wrote that the very air here is miraculous and the outlines of reality change with the moment. Conversely losangelesswimmin said it was a place where you will get dirty, you will get naked and you will blackout and wake up with a pretzel stuck to your balls.
Lisa had only seen the second review when she plotted out the trip and figured it’d be a good place to soak her litany of wounds before she had to go out and make a few more.
“And that’s just the two of us. You can just as easily see Aoki and Ana tearing the face off each other at Bloodsport or Fukushima and I building title reigns off the backs of each other or an absurdity of tags and multimans in every combination you can possibly conceive.
Cats and Zombies are just natural enemies and there’s no way to keep us apart.”
She nodded off to her side, quite matter of fact. Her partner, reign 4CW champion and future diabetic coma survivor, responded in kind. She sat up on the edge off to Lisa’s right, absentmindedly treading water, thinking about nothing in particular.
Being a winner certainly had its perks.
“Fighting the Zombies is a Sisyphian task. Win or lose they just won't go away. Also there are like hundreds of them and most of them are just cannon-fodder. Like Kowloon. Fuck Kowloon. Stupid little bitch.
The long and short of all this is that fighting the Zombies is a sort of never ending hell dream and I’m running low on good one liners, but if this is what the division needs then I’ll happily make hats from all their faces and wear them to the after party.
Right now you could say they’re in the ascendancy. We got a little back in Japan the other week, but they still got to go home holding the gold. I would argue against that on a number of fronts. Firstly, we’re never on the backfoot.”
She stopped herself for a drink. A fruity looking concoction garnished with little umbrellas and chunks of fruit, really trying to sell the scene. A couple hours from now they’d either be passed out or shotgunning lukewarm cans out of the shallow end, but for now we had an image to maintain.
“Certainly we lost to them at the last time of asking, but we’ve lost before and always come back stronger. We lost our shot at the Rose City titles before we clawed our way back them, we crashed out of the Southside never ending tag tournament - two years later and probably still going strong - before we came here to put our claim to being the top team in the world, then while the Zombies were doing their victory lap with our titles, we regrouped in FGA with a DDT3 tournament win.
Teams in this sport die because they can’t handle a loss but we’ve never stopped. We’ve been back winning and winning well. Down but never out, learning from our mistakes. Meanwhile they’re being led out to slaughter by a man built for failure.”
Lisa put her free hand up to the camera to defend herself.
“Aokigahara has had an excellent few years and a number of big wins, but fundamentally the guy is only looking for a glorious end and that doesn’t mean him walking away with his head held high.
He’s a fighter, but he’s also a liability. He’ll keep swinging, he’ll keep coming at you, but while you’re trying to stop him he’s trying to let you and he’ll bring the whole team down with him. You don’t back a horse that’s begging for you to get your gun and you don’t pin your hopes on a man who is hoping the next time you beat him, he doesn’t wake up.”
Lisa took a polite little sip. Probably popping a few stitches in her side as she did.
“Fukushima meanwhile is a game contender, a certified champion, but she’s also a really good listener and she’s learning stupid from the master. A dude who had his brain beaten to pulp until it dribbled out his ear. Mostly by me.
She has been spoon fed his drivel every time they’ve left her in front of a camera, and when she is deigned to talk it’s the same psychoanalytic white noise bullshit we’d get if he was on his own.
Fukushima doesn’t think we do enough to acknowledge our losses, but then so does Aoki and every other cunt we’ve blown past on the way up the ladder. I guess because there’s only so much you can say when you’re constantly trying to fight off your back.”
Lisa finished her drink and thought about leaving it on the rock edge behind her. A few awkward attempts at a turn and she instead decided to hoof it over her head, where it shattered into a dozen little consequences she’d been dealing with later.
“Everyone says we won't handle our losses? I think every single one of you cares far too much. I think you all talk a good game but you’ve got fragile egos that come apart the second you have confront your own failures and can’t stand the fact that we don’t feel the same.
We were able to clear out the entire division in one night because nobody else could handle the fact that they might have more to learn. We were able to bring the best teams in the world together because we weren’t afraid of the consequences if we didn’t win.”
Lisa lazily flapped a hand at her partner, the searing vapours clearly starting to take effect.
“Ana here crashed out of the scene and survived two of those stupid Warzone of Horror things before she took back her 4CW World title, I over turned a losing streak in the Carnage Carnival to claw my way back and win the whole fucking thing from Aoki.
I mean sure, I look like I’ve been trying to wash my face in a fucking blender, but that’s beside the point. We have come down hard on everyone we’ve faced, but we’ve never been afraid to take a punch. And we lose as much as anyone. We’ve just never let it hold us back.
Especially Ana. Loses all the time.”
Without looking down Ana kicked a stream of water right across her bow. A warning shot, just in case there were any questions about whether or not she was still listening.
“If you leave this whole thing in the hands of the Zombies, they’ll shoot creepy little videos every other week and hope someone else goes out and does the leg work for them, because this doesn’t mean even half as much to them as it does to us.”
Lisa lurched forward, awkwardly and painfully, while the waters clouded around her.
“I came to Union because I thought it was the coolest fucking place in the world. I wanted a voice in the community and I thought this was the place to get it. I was proud to be a champion here, happier to do it with Ana, happier still to help build a division. Last time it cost us but I don’t regret it, because that match was about something bigger than us, but now we look forward.
I have probably the best partner in the world beside me. Together we’re the team that scoured the world, were willing to face anyone, happy to answer the questions no one else was even willing to ask. We made your reign a possibility and now we’re going to take it right back.
And if Union Battleground is ready to take its place back at the forefront of this sport, then we want to be right there leading the charge. Same as before.
Time to remind everyone who keeps this show running.”
On that she sat back, sucking at her teeth as she pressed her back into the stone. Ana looked down and offered her a shrug. She’d probably be fine. Tomorrow. Mostly.
