Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2017 11:37:32 GMT -5
The following content has been edited by Spike TV for viewing audiences worldwide. Spike TV also warns viewers not to try this at home.
At a recent Carnage Wrestling show in Baltimore, there is excitement in the air. The Monarchy of Anarchy tournament is in full swing as the second set of matches have just been completed. The first round is almost complete with much more to come. Even though Chaos 32 has ended, there are still a few people hanging about as they still have a buzz from seeing super stars such as Amy Jo Smyth, Gary Altus, James Rotten, Ash Scion, and Jason Ingalls. Most of the time people would have to watch some of them on TV or on the internet, but now they can see them live in person. Kind of like The Outliers joining Battle for LA in Union Battleground. This is almost a once in a lifetime opportunity to see some of these wrestlers in their favorite federation. Plus with Underground 2017 being in Tokyo, Japan, things are going great even after the OWF Network deal falling apart. There is belief among people that the Carnage Network will be picked up at the conclusion of Season 4.
Up in the rafter of the Carnage Arena, a person is seen up there and walking around. Not many people use the rafters. Some of it has to do with the lack of health and safety standards especially when Old Man Smithy lives in a closet, Bertha the lunch lady is still the head of the concession stands with her mystery meat, and of course the blister twisters. It is amazing the health inspector hasn’t shut down the Carnage Arena. That being said the only person who uses the rafters is Tweeder. Some may remember how he came down and caused Zane Rush to have one massive hospital bill. It was also there where he made the great escape after Zane tried to ruin the Hall of Legends ceremony in 2015. As Tweeder paces the rafters, his intent is unknown, but it is clear he is in deep thought as he lights up a Lucky Strike cigarette.
Ok who didn’t see that one coming? From the very start I had said I was going to make to the finals of Union Battleground’s tournament. I had mentioned on social media that Emery Layton and I would being in the semifinals of our bracket. Then on the other side of the bracket, there were two people who I figured might give me some trouble, MDK and *BEEP* Devereaux. Now the main upset of the tournament was when Sakaguchi Kyoshi managed to defeat MDK. I don’t think anyone saw that coming. Needless to say, the final which I considered to be a great way to create an epic show at Battle for LA was always going to be Devereaux and myself. This is why Axel Graves brought us in to put UB on the map. Judging by some of the names who have joined for Battle for LA, it has worked. However I have unfinished business with the tournament as I seek the title of being the first champion in UB’s short history. In 2036, people will look back and see that I was the foundation to the longevity of Union Battleground.
So Devereaux, are we going to try to one up each other about what kind of bat *BEEP* crazy stuff we have done? Didn’t you say you drove a car into the ring or something to try and kill your opponent? Well I must tell you *BEEP*, that is cute. It really is. I can understand if you were trying to take out several people and go human bowling, but other than that, what else did you do with the car? No try being in something called the Tower of Doom which is several cages stacked on top of each other. You are locked in there with your opponent or opponents, you start from the top and the only way is down. Oh and everything including the kitchen sink is in the tower. Anything you could get your hands on was game and you were even allowed to go shopping for things you wanted to have included. Someone even brought a flaming rubber chicken once. In case you are wondering, yes, I have won every Tower of Doom match I have ever been in. Now it is my turn to one up you and I will give you two for the price of one from my brief time in OWF. The Pool of Blood and the Altitude match were over 15 feet in the air so you can imagine it would hurt just a little if you were over the edge. Now keep in mind there is no give in those structures so it would be very easy to snack a neck. In the Pool of Blood I threw a few people off who landed in tub of various blood and guts. It was fun for sure and I would gladly do it again if OWF hadn’t closed. Still that is nothing compared to what is normal in Carnage Wrestling. Plus I could go on and on if I wanted to about the *BEEP* I have done and I am sure you could too.
Now speaking of Carnage Wrestling, we have this thing called Monarchy of Anarchy tournament which I had invited you to. I recall you saying interesting, but I never heard back from you and when the sign ups were complete, I didn’t see your name on the list. A few thoughts came to my mind on why you didn’t sign up. Maybe you were too busy and had a crazy schedule where the timing didn’t seem right. I just couldn’t figure out why because you don’t seem like the type that would get scared easily. Then the thought came to me that you are a walking popcorn fart. Yes I just called you a popcorn fart and soon that is going to be trending. Maybe I should have crazy cat lady Trixie or Emery Layton to start hash tagging that. They are fairly active on social media these days. Sorry, where was I again? Oh yes, you decided to be a popcorn fart and not join the Monarchy of Anarchy tournament. In fact, management was interested in you joining and left a spot open just for you, but you never came so they gave away your spot. So I want an answer from you because you insulted me by not saying yes or no. I am serious you little *BEEP*! You were claiming all the things you have done to Dragasha Omega in your very first promo for UB and you turned down a chance to prove it. What type of *BEEP* up *BEEP* is that?
You are going to try to kill me? What are you going to do, butcher me with your monotone voice that sounds like Siri on an iPhone? No *BEEP*, you aren’t going to kill or butcher me. Many have tried before and they have all failed. I am still standing and main eventing. Speaking of main events, how many have you been in since you joined UB? Oh that is right, only one and that is because I wasn’t there that night. Sorry *BEEP*, but it is the end of the road for you my friend. I honestly don’t give a *BEEP* what Spike, the PPV company, Graves, or anyone else says, I am going to make you bleed *BEEP* and Home Depot, Lowes, Target, Walmart, and the mom and pops hardware store is going to be sold out of nails, tacks, chairs, ladders, and everything else as you can think of. It doesn’t matter if Spike wants to *BEEP* beep me out as I am still going to *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* you and set a new standard for Union Battleground. Sadly the name Battle of LA is not the right name. It is going to be Seek and Destroy as anyone who gets in my way is going wish they didn’t. Don’t worry *BEEP*, I am not going to let my reputation be questioned by anyone in UB. Not even by some pencil pushing little *BEEP* from Spike. If they want to *BEEP* things up, then they along with Axel Graves can go *BEEP*themselves with a *BEEP* rusty barbwire bat.
I am your judge. I am your jury. I am your executioner. Welcome to Ultra Violence.