I always enjoy seeing people find new ways to launch into their promo, which this was. In terms of Danny being there and saying ‘right, pretend I’m Miles’ and just letting her go off, I thought that was a very good way to go into it. It also gave a narrative reason for Danny to actually be there. It was important to the piece that he was there and it was solely to push Karen into talking about the match and what she thought about it, which I loved. You made him necessary as far as I’m concerned here. The issue with ‘talk to camera’ promos is there’s no one’s eyes you can really look into and there’s a lot of artifice you have to deal with in order to explain why this person isn’t just completely mad and comfortable talking to really no one (unless they are a bit mad, in which case fair enough), which you avoided here with Karen. I have nothing critical to say about the actual RP section directed towards Miles, I enjoyed that.
I think in terms of constructive criticism, my only thing is the flashback at the start (I would like to stress, having read back my following paragraph, this really comes down to a personal preference and a ‘what I would’ve done’ thing and it’s entirely possible I’m talking out of my arse). I truly understand the point behind THAT particular story. It’s a good thing to tell us about, especially in what’s gonna be the first thing a lot of us have ever read of yours. But what would’ve grabbed me a lot more- and you’d have maybe used less words so saved on count- was if we’d heard it from her, as in Karen recounting the story to us/what you could later reveal to be Danny as well. I think if she tells the story, in her own words, it becomes a little bit more personal and you don’t have to throw away important stuff like how she felt in the moment as direction. A flashback is a flashback. It is a thing that happened in her life, and they work from time to time. But if I’m a reader, and the very first thing I hear out of Karen Willow’s gob is a very personal story of her own defiance and perseverance that she still thinks about? Incredible first impression. She’s given me a reason to care, and all she had to do was talk without any real bells and/or whistles. Sometimes that’s really all it takes.
Beyond that, I enjoyed it and I am really looking forward to seeing where the character goes here!