Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2017 21:45:32 GMT -5
As everything comes into focus we have the pleasure of seeing one of the Grandest bathrooms in the history of visual media. Everything is either money green or Grand Gold as we pass by the multiple sinks, the gold encrusted shower and make our way over to the custom designed golden bathtub. The mat in front of the tub is a money green Priceless Dollar Bill with the face of Hunter Grand right smack dab in the middle of it.
The jacuzzi'd out tub is designed to be as impressive as it is expensive. The bubbles that are overflowing from the tub make it fairly obvious that someone is relaxing inside. Perhaps the golden cart next to it and the open bottle of champagne also make it very clear. For those that are unable to put billion and billion together, the man in the tub is none other than: "The Main Man" Hunter Grand.
Hunter Grand reaches out and grabs the glass of champagne off the cart. He takes a sip and swishes it around in his mouth. Another moment and he's savoring the deliciousness until time to speak.
Hunter Grand: Grand evening.
Hunter Grand speaks directly to us because that's just how awesome The Grand One is. He looks as relaxed and unbothered as anyone as Grand as He would be during this time period. He seems to be in complete harmonious bliss and loving every second of his bubble bath flavored relaxation.
Hunter Grand: Welcome, welcome everyone to one of Hunter Grand's many, many bathrooms. If you're watching this then you're either already in my Grand Graces or you want to be. To those that are attempting to gain the favor of The Grand One, I say unto thee, good luck. For you see, Hunter Grand is so far beyond and above the petty squabbling of mere mortals than his mere presence could warm the heart of the coldest Russian dictator. In fact, The Grand One has been known to soothe a savage beast or two in his day. It's necessary in his line of work.
Hunter Grand smiles and takes a moment to shift in his comfortable bubble bath of superiority.
Hunter Grand: While it is a well documented fact that Hunter Grand is the finest athlete in sports entertainment today, there are still a handful of frivolous naysayers that have yet to realize the sheer magnitude of perfection that Hunter Grand exemplifies. These people, who are clearly delusional and insane, are in desperate need of Hunter Grand's generosity. They need someone to inspire them. Someone to walk the long and difficult road ahead of them and show them the way to success. Someone to show them that with hard work, dedication and passion that they will, someday, be as Grand as His Royal Grandness.
Hunter Grand holds up a pile of bubbles on his palm and blows them out into the open air of the too spacious bathroom.
Hunter Grand: Hunter Grand is not that man. In fact, Hunter Grand is not simply a man. Hunter Grand is something else entirely. Hunter Grand is an ideal. Hunter Grand is a goal. Hunter Grand is anything and everything that the entirety of Union BattleGrand wishes they were. Hunter Grand is the Grand Slam Champion.
We follow the eyes of Hunter Grand as he turns to look over at a full out recliner that's on the other side of the bathroom. Laying there, across the front of the chair, is that prestigious Grand Slam Championship.
Hunter Grand: Behold. The Grandest Championship in the History of Sports Entertainment. This is not some cheap belt named after a pitiful federation that has been struggling since the re-arrival of Hunter Grand. This is not some anti-authoritative second best trophy belt that has been dug up from the trenches of so-called war. No. This is something better. This is the penultimate goal of each and every single person in sports entertainment today. And it's all mine.
We move back to Hunter Grand to give him a moment to gloat right in front of our faces. He seems to be as pleased with himself as he ever is. Maybe even more.
Hunter Grand: There is, however, one person out there that has realized just how important The Grand Slam Championship is. This man has decided to heed my words and has chosen to risk his career by stepping into that ring with me at Lights Out. This man has realized that the only way to ascend to a Grander state of mind is to attempt to defeat the Definition of Sports Entertainment: Hunter Grand.
Hunter Grand winces and shakes his head at the thought of his opponent this week: Azrael.
Hunter Grand: Unfortunately, Abigail, The Grand One has some bad news for you. You're just not ready.
Hunter Grand fights back a grin as he tries to look as solemn as he can at this time of delivering bad news.
Hunter Grand: Now, don't start weeping just yet or you'll have to reapply your guyliner all over again and we know how long that would take. Instead, I want you to realize that it's not your fault. You see, The Grand One transcends anything and everything that you may think you are. The Grand One has been at the top of his game since the day he allowed himself to be born. The Grand One has always been a winner and he will continue to be one until the day he decides this Earth is no longer worthy of his presence. The Grand One decides when and where he wants to allow someone else to bask in the shadow of his mighty presence. And inside That Very Ring, The Grand One decides who wins or who loses.
Hunter Grand knocks around some more of the bubbles as he speaks. He's honestly just playing with them. Like the spoiled brat of Grandness that he is.
Hunter Grand: Abigail, Abigail, Abigail. While The Grand One would like to applaud you for your courage and bravery, I implore you to reconsider what is going to be the Grandest mistake in your life. You are biting off way more than you can chew here. You are going to be standing in the ring, surrounded by thousands and thousands of screaming fans. My Grand Wagon, as it were. You will try your hardest to ascend to my level. You will fail. Harshly. Miserably. Viscerally. You will fall upon your knees and beg The Grand One's forgiveness and he will not give it to you. He will not give you the chance to redeem yourself. He will not allow you to even look in his direction as he steps over you and your pitiful attempt to dethrone His Royal Grandness. He will continue up that ramp, the Grand Slam Championship over his shoulder, where it belongs and you will cease to be anything more than another fleeting memory in the minds of Grand Wagoners everywhere. All of this shall come to pass, Abigail. For if there is one thing you have failed to see, one thing you have forgotten, one thing that you need to know to understand why you will have perished so quickly and so easily it is simply this...
Hunter Grand moves the bubbles away from his face and reaches for the glass of champagne once more. He looks at us with serious eyes.
Hunter Grand: I Am Hunter Grand. That Means I'm Better Than You.
Hunter Grand raises the glass as a devious grin slithers across his lips.
Hunter Grand: Cheers.
As we back out of the Grand Bathroom, laughter, victorious laughter can be heard. End.
The jacuzzi'd out tub is designed to be as impressive as it is expensive. The bubbles that are overflowing from the tub make it fairly obvious that someone is relaxing inside. Perhaps the golden cart next to it and the open bottle of champagne also make it very clear. For those that are unable to put billion and billion together, the man in the tub is none other than: "The Main Man" Hunter Grand.
Hunter Grand reaches out and grabs the glass of champagne off the cart. He takes a sip and swishes it around in his mouth. Another moment and he's savoring the deliciousness until time to speak.
Hunter Grand: Grand evening.
Hunter Grand speaks directly to us because that's just how awesome The Grand One is. He looks as relaxed and unbothered as anyone as Grand as He would be during this time period. He seems to be in complete harmonious bliss and loving every second of his bubble bath flavored relaxation.
Hunter Grand: Welcome, welcome everyone to one of Hunter Grand's many, many bathrooms. If you're watching this then you're either already in my Grand Graces or you want to be. To those that are attempting to gain the favor of The Grand One, I say unto thee, good luck. For you see, Hunter Grand is so far beyond and above the petty squabbling of mere mortals than his mere presence could warm the heart of the coldest Russian dictator. In fact, The Grand One has been known to soothe a savage beast or two in his day. It's necessary in his line of work.
Hunter Grand smiles and takes a moment to shift in his comfortable bubble bath of superiority.
Hunter Grand: While it is a well documented fact that Hunter Grand is the finest athlete in sports entertainment today, there are still a handful of frivolous naysayers that have yet to realize the sheer magnitude of perfection that Hunter Grand exemplifies. These people, who are clearly delusional and insane, are in desperate need of Hunter Grand's generosity. They need someone to inspire them. Someone to walk the long and difficult road ahead of them and show them the way to success. Someone to show them that with hard work, dedication and passion that they will, someday, be as Grand as His Royal Grandness.
Hunter Grand holds up a pile of bubbles on his palm and blows them out into the open air of the too spacious bathroom.
Hunter Grand: Hunter Grand is not that man. In fact, Hunter Grand is not simply a man. Hunter Grand is something else entirely. Hunter Grand is an ideal. Hunter Grand is a goal. Hunter Grand is anything and everything that the entirety of Union BattleGrand wishes they were. Hunter Grand is the Grand Slam Champion.
We follow the eyes of Hunter Grand as he turns to look over at a full out recliner that's on the other side of the bathroom. Laying there, across the front of the chair, is that prestigious Grand Slam Championship.
Hunter Grand: Behold. The Grandest Championship in the History of Sports Entertainment. This is not some cheap belt named after a pitiful federation that has been struggling since the re-arrival of Hunter Grand. This is not some anti-authoritative second best trophy belt that has been dug up from the trenches of so-called war. No. This is something better. This is the penultimate goal of each and every single person in sports entertainment today. And it's all mine.
We move back to Hunter Grand to give him a moment to gloat right in front of our faces. He seems to be as pleased with himself as he ever is. Maybe even more.
Hunter Grand: There is, however, one person out there that has realized just how important The Grand Slam Championship is. This man has decided to heed my words and has chosen to risk his career by stepping into that ring with me at Lights Out. This man has realized that the only way to ascend to a Grander state of mind is to attempt to defeat the Definition of Sports Entertainment: Hunter Grand.
Hunter Grand winces and shakes his head at the thought of his opponent this week: Azrael.
Hunter Grand: Unfortunately, Abigail, The Grand One has some bad news for you. You're just not ready.
Hunter Grand fights back a grin as he tries to look as solemn as he can at this time of delivering bad news.
Hunter Grand: Now, don't start weeping just yet or you'll have to reapply your guyliner all over again and we know how long that would take. Instead, I want you to realize that it's not your fault. You see, The Grand One transcends anything and everything that you may think you are. The Grand One has been at the top of his game since the day he allowed himself to be born. The Grand One has always been a winner and he will continue to be one until the day he decides this Earth is no longer worthy of his presence. The Grand One decides when and where he wants to allow someone else to bask in the shadow of his mighty presence. And inside That Very Ring, The Grand One decides who wins or who loses.
Hunter Grand knocks around some more of the bubbles as he speaks. He's honestly just playing with them. Like the spoiled brat of Grandness that he is.
Hunter Grand: Abigail, Abigail, Abigail. While The Grand One would like to applaud you for your courage and bravery, I implore you to reconsider what is going to be the Grandest mistake in your life. You are biting off way more than you can chew here. You are going to be standing in the ring, surrounded by thousands and thousands of screaming fans. My Grand Wagon, as it were. You will try your hardest to ascend to my level. You will fail. Harshly. Miserably. Viscerally. You will fall upon your knees and beg The Grand One's forgiveness and he will not give it to you. He will not give you the chance to redeem yourself. He will not allow you to even look in his direction as he steps over you and your pitiful attempt to dethrone His Royal Grandness. He will continue up that ramp, the Grand Slam Championship over his shoulder, where it belongs and you will cease to be anything more than another fleeting memory in the minds of Grand Wagoners everywhere. All of this shall come to pass, Abigail. For if there is one thing you have failed to see, one thing you have forgotten, one thing that you need to know to understand why you will have perished so quickly and so easily it is simply this...
Hunter Grand moves the bubbles away from his face and reaches for the glass of champagne once more. He looks at us with serious eyes.
Hunter Grand: I Am Hunter Grand. That Means I'm Better Than You.
Hunter Grand raises the glass as a devious grin slithers across his lips.
Hunter Grand: Cheers.
As we back out of the Grand Bathroom, laughter, victorious laughter can be heard. End.