Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2017 17:57:49 GMT -5
JOURNAL ENTRY #60
April 24, 2017
Los Angeles, California
ADONAI,
You know better than anyone that with every human comes a question. THE Question. The question that hasn’t changed and never will. The question that if answered, could free us from our dying souls. The question of all questions.
Why am I here?
I’m sitting here in the bedroom I share with Kaydence, restless from more flashbacks, watching her take slow, restful, unconscious breaths, wondering why I even brought her into my world. I don’t even know why I am still here. What was I thinking in getting this innocent woman involved in my directionless life?
Despite my recent success in Union Battleground, I know I didn’t survive the IED in Jerusalem to simply be a competitor inside the squared circle. I gave Xion some homework to find the Coopers for me but he hasn’t gotten back to me with a report since Missio Dei put the contract out on him. XION BEN-JUDAH. Another innocent person I’ve brought into my jacked up world. Now he has to flee Tel Aviv, the only home he’s known, and come to the States to avoid extradition and certain death. So again…
Why am I here?
At least I’m not the only one struggling with this question. I did some research on my L!GHTS OUT #9 opponent, JOVE BELANE, and what I found is another f*cked up individual with no reason to exist, other than to piss off some trick’s family and get his ass handed to him by her brothers. I hope the sexually transmitted disease was worth the price. So Wednesday night, in Mobile, Alabama, Axel Graves is going to put us both in the ring in his L!GHTS OUT main event and let us figure out the meaning of life together?. (Doesn’t it sound like some sick kid’s “scientific” experiment of putting a scorpion and a deadly spider in the same jar and shaking it up? Yes, I’ve become jaded since I found out my family has moved on without me.) This is definitely going to be an interesting fight. So again…
Why am I here?
I know the Missio Dei brain chips were meant to mind-wipe and control all operatives while on their less-than-holy missions. But since the IED blast in Jerusalem, I’m beginning to remember things. Maybe the last night's flashback will give me more insight into my reason for continued existence?
I remember being covered by a veil of darkness. I don’t know why I was there but I was compelled to be there. The adrenaline was rushing through my body and all my senses were on point. I could see my target wielding a steely short sword and he ran it along the body of a battered naked woman chained to a block wall. I could smell the twang of alcohol emanating from the disheveled military officer. The woman was blindfolded. She tried to scream but sadly all that escaped was a scratchy rasp. Her voice was long spent from painful screams of agony. The officer jabbed the point of the short sword into the woman’s thigh. She painfully gasped and strained against the chains. Despite the mind control, I knew I was dealing with an evil man.
The officer chuckled as he watched the blood ooze out of the new leg wound. He said something to the woman in Indonesian with a vile tone of amusement.
OFFICER: So helpless. So vulnerable. So… dead.
He removed the knife from the woman’s leg and brought it up to her throat. Tears ran down her face and her expression told me that she knew she was going to die in mere moments. The woman was American, with strawberry blonde hair, and no more than 21 years of age. She reminded me a bit of Kaydence. She tried to hold back a sob and closed her eyes as if accepting her fate, waiting for the blade to slice her throat.
It never came.
OFFICER: WHAT!?! WHO ARE YOU?! HOW DID GET IN HERE?!
I spoke up in my best Indonesian. My voice hard and with an undertone of danger and authority.
AZRAEL: I’m the Angel of Death…
OFFICER: You’re no Malak Al-Mawt!
The officer gave a soft humorless laugh as he shuffled his way towards me.
AZRAEL: Suit yourself...
He pointed the short sword at me. What happened next was a blur but it ended with a muffled crack followed by a thud, and the metallic clang of the short sword hitting the concrete floor.
AZRAEL: Now… do you believe me?
I walked over to the chained woman. I put a warm hand on her upper chest, letting her know I was not her assailant. I decided to keep her blindfolded as she didn’t need to know what happened to her captor nor did I want her to see her rescuer. I easily picked the locks on her chains with a carpenter's nail I found on the ground and gingerly lifted her into my arms.
AZRAEL: Everything is going to okay…
In that moment, I knew I was going against my programming. As a matter of fact, now that I think on it, this happened before the Jerusalem bombing. This was before the chip was damaged. I was acting on my own before my head injury in Jerusalem! What the hell?!
WHY AM I HERE?
All I know is that I’m not the man I was before returning to Missio Dei. I am not the man who mindlessly did Missio Dei’s bidding. I am me. And at this very moment, I am Azrael Kahn.
I’m the Angel of Death.
At L!GHTS OUT #9 I’m facing more than a debuting competitor. I’m facing a man looking for his reason for living. And that makes him a dangerous man beyond his fighting skills. But maybe this is the defining moment that settles my brokenness. Maybe against Jove Belane, I have the defining moment when everything in my f*cked up life makes sense.
And that makes me… dangerous.
So again… why am I here?
Maybe you should watch L!GHTS OUT #9 and find out. You can be sure Jove Belane will learn the hard way.
Be well, Adonai. We’ll be in touch.