Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2017 11:19:54 GMT -5
Union Battleground… You’re welcome.
The screen blinks to life, revealing a young man, reclining back in an ornate iron throne. His chin rests in one hand, that same hand supported by an elbow on the throne’s armrest. In his other hand, a simple iron crown rolls around in his fingers. Cassius Reed looks almost contemplative as he continues to muse on the subject.
The day has finally come, suckas, that you’ll be telling your kids about if you ever manage to get someone drunk enough to actually sleep with you. Because this week, at Lights Out, King Cassius finally sets foot into the Battleground. The Iron King himself, the Snake Eater, the Puppet Master, the Devil Slayer, finally graces you all with his most funky presence… and what does he get as a reception party?
A smirk plays over the lips of the Iron King.
Some failed MMA fighter. Great. Funky.
He shrugs.
You see, Cassius knows Kira Izumi. We both used to wrestle in New Kingdom PRO, back in Germany. Cassius ain’t ever fought him, but he’s seen his sorry ass lain flat out on the mat to know what he’s all about. The Psychopath. Ooooh. Scary. No really. What? Cassius’ face? Nah, sucka. This is the face a brotha pulls when he’s seriously concerned about his physical health when fighting such a ruthless and crazy individual.
The face of Cassius Reed, from raised eyebrow, to deadpan expression, tells a very different story.
Now Cassius has got to admit, he’s somewhat… disappointed with this state of affairs. It’s all about first impressions, you see. You only get one first impression, you see. At least, that’s what people keep trying to tell Cassius. And Cassius’ first chance he gets to razzledazzle you suckas he’s got to carry emo teenager number 7? Damn. That’s hard.
Cassius leans back into his throne, finger to his lips.
Now don’t get a brotha wrong. Cassius is still gunna funk his shit up. Cassius is going to show every single one of you why he’s the funkiest mammajamma to ever step foot in the squared circle. If you ain’t already familiar with King Cassius, then you’re going to be telling anyone that’ll listen about this story, about the first time you saw the Iron King own some lame ass sucka. But if this is your first impression of Cassius? Man… Cassius feels bad for you. You could be getting so much more… and instead you get this. Sorry, not sorry.
[i[A shrug.[/i]
Now don’t go mistaking Cassius’ inherent confidence and witty repartee for misplaced arrogance, or underestimating no suckas. Cassius the Iron King for a reason. Cassius beat 5 of the best wrestlers in the world, in 5 of the toughest, most diverse matches he’s ever been in, to earn this crown. He ain’t like some sucka who walked into a dollar store, picked up a plastic crown and started calling himself King just because. No. Cassius earned the right to call himself King Cassius, and at Lights Out, all you people gonna see why. And for that? You’re all welcome.
Cassius slowly pulls himself up to standing, using the throne to do so. He poses in front of it a moment or two, still playing with his simple crown in his hand.
Now please, Kira, Cassius is begging you. Bring something… for the fans. They deserve more than only 30 second of the Iron King at work as Cassius humiliates your sorry ass. Put up a fight, try, do whatever you can to justify the price of entry for the crowd. And hey, don’t feel bad. Yeah, you’re gonna lose, but it’s for a greater purpose! You get to be the first name to fall to Cassius in the Battleground. That’s a big deal. When the historians tell the story of Cassius’ successful Union Battleground debut they’ll mention your name! Maybe! If they don’t just call you that weird skinny kid that got his ass beat. Whatever. It don’t matter. You see, you really are serving a higher purpose here. From your beaten ass a legacy can be forged, a new history. Has anyone else got shivers? Cassius’ skin is tingling!
An exaggerated “shudder” from Cassius, following by a 1,000 Megawatt grin.
So this is what Cassius is gonna need you all to do right now. First up, if your cheap ass ain’t already, sign up to the Battleground Network. Second: book Monday 10th off work. Cassius is gonna rock your bodies so hard on Sunday night there ain’t a hope in hell any of you gonna be in any shape to go and work your mind crushing 9 to 5 after. Third, get in whatever snack is to your personal preference. Wings, popcorn, pretzels, whatever the funk you need. Step four. Sit back on Sunday night, and prepare for Cassius to FUNK your mind. Sit there and enjoy as Cassius blasts through each and every one of your senses as he blows this sucka away. And then, when it’s all done, and Cassius has his hand raised?
A wink.
You can all pull your asses out your seats, clap your hands, and repeat these four simple words.
The camera zooms in, leaving only Cassius’ face in shot.
Long Live The King.
With that, another wink, before the broadcast cuts out to static.
The screen blinks to life, revealing a young man, reclining back in an ornate iron throne. His chin rests in one hand, that same hand supported by an elbow on the throne’s armrest. In his other hand, a simple iron crown rolls around in his fingers. Cassius Reed looks almost contemplative as he continues to muse on the subject.
The day has finally come, suckas, that you’ll be telling your kids about if you ever manage to get someone drunk enough to actually sleep with you. Because this week, at Lights Out, King Cassius finally sets foot into the Battleground. The Iron King himself, the Snake Eater, the Puppet Master, the Devil Slayer, finally graces you all with his most funky presence… and what does he get as a reception party?
A smirk plays over the lips of the Iron King.
Some failed MMA fighter. Great. Funky.
He shrugs.
You see, Cassius knows Kira Izumi. We both used to wrestle in New Kingdom PRO, back in Germany. Cassius ain’t ever fought him, but he’s seen his sorry ass lain flat out on the mat to know what he’s all about. The Psychopath. Ooooh. Scary. No really. What? Cassius’ face? Nah, sucka. This is the face a brotha pulls when he’s seriously concerned about his physical health when fighting such a ruthless and crazy individual.
The face of Cassius Reed, from raised eyebrow, to deadpan expression, tells a very different story.
Now Cassius has got to admit, he’s somewhat… disappointed with this state of affairs. It’s all about first impressions, you see. You only get one first impression, you see. At least, that’s what people keep trying to tell Cassius. And Cassius’ first chance he gets to razzledazzle you suckas he’s got to carry emo teenager number 7? Damn. That’s hard.
Cassius leans back into his throne, finger to his lips.
Now don’t get a brotha wrong. Cassius is still gunna funk his shit up. Cassius is going to show every single one of you why he’s the funkiest mammajamma to ever step foot in the squared circle. If you ain’t already familiar with King Cassius, then you’re going to be telling anyone that’ll listen about this story, about the first time you saw the Iron King own some lame ass sucka. But if this is your first impression of Cassius? Man… Cassius feels bad for you. You could be getting so much more… and instead you get this. Sorry, not sorry.
[i[A shrug.[/i]
Now don’t go mistaking Cassius’ inherent confidence and witty repartee for misplaced arrogance, or underestimating no suckas. Cassius the Iron King for a reason. Cassius beat 5 of the best wrestlers in the world, in 5 of the toughest, most diverse matches he’s ever been in, to earn this crown. He ain’t like some sucka who walked into a dollar store, picked up a plastic crown and started calling himself King just because. No. Cassius earned the right to call himself King Cassius, and at Lights Out, all you people gonna see why. And for that? You’re all welcome.
Cassius slowly pulls himself up to standing, using the throne to do so. He poses in front of it a moment or two, still playing with his simple crown in his hand.
Now please, Kira, Cassius is begging you. Bring something… for the fans. They deserve more than only 30 second of the Iron King at work as Cassius humiliates your sorry ass. Put up a fight, try, do whatever you can to justify the price of entry for the crowd. And hey, don’t feel bad. Yeah, you’re gonna lose, but it’s for a greater purpose! You get to be the first name to fall to Cassius in the Battleground. That’s a big deal. When the historians tell the story of Cassius’ successful Union Battleground debut they’ll mention your name! Maybe! If they don’t just call you that weird skinny kid that got his ass beat. Whatever. It don’t matter. You see, you really are serving a higher purpose here. From your beaten ass a legacy can be forged, a new history. Has anyone else got shivers? Cassius’ skin is tingling!
An exaggerated “shudder” from Cassius, following by a 1,000 Megawatt grin.
So this is what Cassius is gonna need you all to do right now. First up, if your cheap ass ain’t already, sign up to the Battleground Network. Second: book Monday 10th off work. Cassius is gonna rock your bodies so hard on Sunday night there ain’t a hope in hell any of you gonna be in any shape to go and work your mind crushing 9 to 5 after. Third, get in whatever snack is to your personal preference. Wings, popcorn, pretzels, whatever the funk you need. Step four. Sit back on Sunday night, and prepare for Cassius to FUNK your mind. Sit there and enjoy as Cassius blasts through each and every one of your senses as he blows this sucka away. And then, when it’s all done, and Cassius has his hand raised?
A wink.
You can all pull your asses out your seats, clap your hands, and repeat these four simple words.
The camera zooms in, leaving only Cassius’ face in shot.
Long Live The King.
With that, another wink, before the broadcast cuts out to static.