Opening up, what looks like a blacked-out storage facility is seen, very little light and a somewhat seedy atmosphere. Dust can be seen on nearly everything, floating in the air, everywhere. The only light seen is on an old wrestling ring in the center of the place. A figure sits on the edge, just outside the downed ropes as “WARPED” is seen on the side of the ring, as a pan up reveals Crowbar being the figure sitting there. He smiles a little, which is rare, and leans back.
Crowbar: “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come one come all to the greatest spectacle ever seen by man! ..really though, it probably will be but hey, who knows.”
In typical fashion he pulls out a packet of cigarettes and lights one up.
Crowbar: “As you can plainly tell, I’ve found the WARPED storage unit – you know, rings, the old stage, all the fun stuff, and boy did I find some fun stuff. Just look around! It’s all lethal! Hell, I can use this ring covering just for a laugh! Ah…..”
Crowbar looks up at the roof momentarily, almost as if reminiscing.
Crowbar: “Alright well back to it, quite simply, MDK and PKA. For PKA, I have absolutely no idea where he stands, we’ve teamed together, we’ve feuded against each other, we sure as hell have one checkered history when it comes to trust, even he would admit that, but realistically? I don’t really mind where he stands. While I’d like to think that someone I’ve caused a hell of a lot of havoc with would be up for causing even more, right here in the Battleground, I just truthfully cannot sit back and know for sure what he’s thinking, and that’s what I’ve always liked about him, and why I have not a problem with him being the special referee.”
He takes a few drags on his smoke before jumping off the ring and standing next to it.
Crowbar: “Malcolm Dred-King, my old tag partner, who got a big ego and got laid out, you see this logo here?”
He points at the WARPED Wrestling logo on the ring cover.
Crowbar: “I went on to here, you had a cry, I bruised your ego, and you want to fight? Fine, I get it, you’re ass is hurt from being laid the fuck out because it was YOU who got too big for themselves, not me, I don’t go around betraying people just for shits and giggles. I’m reliable. I stand by my allies. You saw the AbominationZ – you saw who I stood by. You saw the absolute swerves we all pulled. Stabbing William Wallace to set up an entire deal when he was one of us the whole time? Come on, who does that? Loyal motherfuckers, that’s who. Loyal to friends, you were the one who was disloyal, you were the one who wanted to abandon the great deal we had going. Sure, we were wrestling in dingy arenas, small crowds, but you know what? I enjoyed it, I also heard the stories - negotiating with anyone and everyone, not including your old tag partner over here, trying to keep it quiet, well it obviously didn’t work, did it? I found out, and down you went, sorry, but disloyalty doesn’t sit right with me.”
Crowbar finish the smoke and respectfully puts it out with his fingers and puts it in his pocket.
Crowbar: “I’m not going to disrespect this ring, anyway, now we’re here. The blow off, the stand-off, the showdown, whatever you want to call it…though….you’re at a disadvantage there, it’s my favorite kind of match! FnX!..wait wait…”
Crowbar reaches under the ring and starts pulling out objects – A kendo stick, a police baton, a fake fire hydrant as he laughs, a stop sign, a taser gun, a roll of barbed wire, a baseball bat and finally…a crowbar, and throws them in the ring.
Crowbar: “My match. I made my name in these matches. Sure, I lost some, but I sure as hell ended careers with them too. You need to take note, good sir, that when you step into any ring that involves weapons, no rules and myself that you’re going to bleed, there’s no denying that, you’ll need stitches and you’ll probably have a concussion – me? I live for this shit. You? Well, I put you on the shelf back in the indies fairly easily, didn’t I?”
He holds up the crowbar.
Crowbar: “It started with this, it all started with this simple tool, with you trying to make a statement. Well, honestly, I’ll gladly put the full stop on that statement with this very weapon, in fact I’ll make it my mission to do so. Sure, I threw a comma in there for a bit, but at Coup De Grace, It ends. I’ll make sure you get KFO’d…or, as it’s known…Knocked the Fuck Out.”
Crowbar tosses the crowbar into the ring and goes to walk off, before popping his head back in quickly.
Crowbar: “Remember, I always keep my surprises close to my chest.”
He walks off and his chuckle echos through the building before the light above the ring shuts off, leaving complete darkness.
