Post by Osaka Rebels on Sept 5, 2018 20:33:05 GMT -5
[We open on the clear, blue, and sunny sky over Tokyo on a very warm day. 90 degrees Fahrenheit to be exact. A pan down brings tall buildings and skyscrapers into the shot – familiar visuals of high-tech, modernized urban Japan. There's millions of people living their lives somewhere in the background – more than any other place in the world. There's enough nooks and crannies for three lifetimes worth of exploration.
When the pan comes all the way down, we get a shot on a rooftop of two individuals who define the ambitions many have when they move to the bustling Tokyo Metropolis. It's Masatake Kawamata and Hanako Takeuchi – a working class couple from Osaka who chased their pro wrestling and combat sports aspirations. Coming from the docks and barrooms, they hit it big enough to find another home out in Long Beach and live a very comfortable life. They are highly respected by their peers and the bookers who constantly seek their appearances.
Kawamata has hauled in a truck load of trophies and title belts in 2018. Wearing sunglasses; a black muscle shirt, and black jeans; the man of Punk Rock Ultraviolence exudes an air of confident machismo as he takes a drag from his cigarette. There's a lot to be confident about when one can claim to be the Independent Deathmatch World Heavyweight Champion, 2018 Death Trip Wrestling Carnage Carnival winner, 2018 KAMIKAZE Pro Evolution King of Violence, 2018 Max Japan Okuninushi Divine Memorial Tournament winner, and KAMIKAZE Pro Omake Champion.
Takeuchi, at 5'11”, is on level with Kawamata since she must be wearing high heels. The Iron Japan Shoot Crown Champion wears a white v-neck t-shirt and beige short shorts – radiant in the sun that reflects off her dyed-brown hair and pale skin. Takeuchi's countenance is that of a playful mischievousness accentuated by faith in her own world class striking ability as she's set to take Union GP by storm.
Both of them are stitched and bandaged up after their matches at DTW Tokyo Gore Noir 10: Psycho Symphony, Night 1 the previous evening. Most of those cuts will probably get reopened at Night 2 later on, but right now Osaka Rebels allow us to enjoy the bright Tokyo sunlight with them.
Kawamata finishes his cigarette and blows smoke in the air as he drops it on the ground. The Backslide Genius makes sure to grind it out under his foot before starting the promo.
Talking with a thick Osaka accent, he chooses to speak in English because he can vulgarly express himself better than in his native language.]
KAWAMATA: We're coming back, NYC!
First time we visited was when The Enforcers toured the east coast last autumn. We had a killer fucking time playing the Mercury Lounge!
Then we came back a month later for Union Battleground and celebrated fourteen years as a couple at the Hammerstein Ballroom.
Now here we are many months later, but this time we're gonna fuck shit up at the world's most famous arena – Madison Square Garden! Coup De Grace! Union Battleground's season finale against the world's best tag team!
[Takeuchi speaks with an accent that sounds almost entirely American with a slight Osaka tinge.]
TAKEUCHI: And unlike the last team we fought in Union Battleground out in NYC, The Outliers aren't a pair of lazy fucks. They'll do more than just skim our bios and fail to get our fucking thing right.
KAWAMATA: But they don't have to read our fucking bios!
TAKEUCHI: They'll at least have the decency to ask if there's anything they want to know about us. I mean, they have our phone numbers. We text.
KAWAMATA: We know The Outliers pretty well at this point and they fucking know us. We've hung out with Sawtooth Grin in Portland – where he's from.
TAKEUCHI: He's come out for my matches in Rose City Wrestling.
KAWAMATA: He's taken us around Portland! Showed us all the cool spots and shit! The best bars, beers, and punk rock in that city! He always makes us feel at home when we're booked there!
TAKEUCHI: Grin was there when you won your first world title in Redmond, Oregon.
KAWAMATA: Shit, Grin got ya into Slaughterhouse LA.
TAKEUCHI: It's Real Killas MMA now!
KAWAMATA: Yeah! But The Outliers, man. We said we wanted to come back to Union Battleground. Yeah, we've only had two matches in this company, but it's a special place for us because of that anniversary and our night at the Hammerstein Ballroom.
And when we said we wanted to come back, we specifically said it would be to fight The Outliers. Didn't fucking matter if they had the Battalion Championship or not. Title belts or no title belts, everyone fucking knows The Outliers are the best tag team in professional wrestling.
TAKEUCHI: But the reason why they're known as the best is because they normally do, in fact, have title belts. They have two titles right now. It would be three if there wasn't any unification.
KAWAMATA: They took our After Dark Fusion belts for that unification in that second match!
TAKEUCHI: We haven't even talked about the first match yet.
KAWAMATA: Who the fuck said tha–?
Well, fuck it.
You wanna talk about that first match? When The Outliers dropped into Chicago for Corrupts' homecoming and we happened to be there too? Oh, how great it was when we just came out and everyone knew there was nothing to be said! They just rang the fucking bell and off we went! That shit was magic! We fucking killed it out there but ya know that time limit draw was a bit of a downer.
TAKEUCHI: At least Graves is smart enough to know that and booked this New York Street Fight.
KAWAMATA: And he watched the second bout we had on Totsuzen Kougeki here in Tokyo! Outliers got us that night! Our first match turned hardcore. Then shit got ultraviolent. But that second match was fucking ultraviolence from the beginning!
TAKEUCHI: It's a tough act to top entertainment wise.
KAWAMATA: But that's what Graves is banking on! If anyone can top that shit it's us four. And if you thought those first two matches were wild, mother fuckers, just wait and see what we're gonna do at Coup De Grace in Madison Square Garden.
Because we drew the first one! Lost the second! Our backs are against the wall here! If we lose, that's it. We're oh-two-and-one against The Outliers.
TAKEUCHI: Or oh-one-and-two depending on one's preferred order for wins, draws, and losses.
KAWAMATA: Whatever the fuck, we're looking at a real possibility of walking out of this trilogy without a win. And hey, there's nothing wrong with going down to The Outliers. Shit tons of teams have fallen to 'em.
But here's the fucking deal. No matter what happens at Madison Square Garden, The Outliers will walk away with many people still calling them the best. We'll probably be two of those many. But we're not coming to NYC to suck dick and smile. Oh fuck no! This match can fucking make us as a team! We're fucking hungry for this shit!
TAKEUCHI: Like Goro Yamashi at an all-you-can-eat.
KAWAMATA: Hanako is IJPW Shoot Crown Champion. You all know the shit tons of belts and trophies I've won!
But as a team? We have one belt to our name and The Outliers took 'em.
TAKEUCHI: We didn't even get one successful defense!
KAWAMATA: Yeah, fuck that noise! Something about that gets to me knowing there's a big ass zero for successful defenses in the record books for the only fucking tag belt we've held.
There's a lotta good fucking teams out there. I believe we deserve to be mentioned with all of 'em. Fuck, I think we're better than most of 'em. But we gotta fucking show it! We gotta go out and prove it! Getting a win over the mother fucking Outliers and becoming Union Battleground Battalion Champions would speak fucking volumes! Doing what so few have done! Man, that shit would make us on the tag scene!
And I'm feeling it! Oh, I'm feeling it! Even after the two crazy ass fucking matches we've had with The Outliers and knowing what they're capable of! Knowing we're the underdogs going into Coup De Grace! Fuck! I'm not scared!
Not afraid of the guts we're gonna spill because that's part of the glory in this business!
Not afraid to fail!
Hanako and I! We're not afraid of shit!
TAKEUCHI: Actually, there is some cause for concern. The last time The Outliers beat a team in Union Battleground to end a trilogy was against The Firing Squad. That team broke up and left the company.
Then The Outliers beat Riddick and Narwin for the DTW Tornado Rules Championship a few nights later and they broke up too.
Then they lost their Battalion belts to Aiden Deimos and Viduus Morta of Salvation at War of the Worlds. Then Deimos left Morta to defend those belts on his own. The Outliers beat Morta and then he left Union Battleground too.
Shit happens to teams after they fight The Outliers. Some writers and internet fans call it The Outliers Curse.
Masatake... You don't think this could be our last match as a team, do you?
KAWAMATA: Oh hell no!
TAKEUCHI: You're not turning on me?
KAWAMATA: The fuck would my ugly ass turn on you for?
TAKEUCHI: You're positive that I'm not turning on you?
KAWAMATA: I'll broccoli brain your fucking ass with a hub cap if you turn on me!
TAKEUCHI: Bring it, Mascot-chan.
KAWAMATA: Don't you fucking start, bitch!
TAKEUCHI: Whoa, dude! Fight me IRL! I was in the Marines!
[Osaka Rebels have a quick and playful cat fight before Kawamata looks back at the camera and continues.]
KAWAMATA: But we gotta big fucking task ahead of us and I'm not worried about curses or any of that shit! Can't worry about that shit when Grin and Corrupts themselves are enough to worry about! But I'm feeling it, Hanako!
TAKEUCHI: I'm feeling it too. Masatake, you say there's a good chance of us walking out of this trilogy without a win? I say The Outliers are good, yes. Great, even. The greatest. But we're too damn good to walk away winless.
KAWAMATA: Ah, yeah! That's the fucking spirit!
TAKEUCHI: Masatake's one of the top deathmatch stars around and this will be a deathmatch. I'm one of the top deathmatch stars myself.
KAWAMATA: You almost won DTW Deathmatch Demolition II but our boy Josh Kennedy was on it for the final!
TAKEUCHI: And I'm the most dangerous striker in the world. Grin knows that. He's seen me training for MMA and helped me out a lot with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. But he knows my Muay Thai and striking ability is second to none. He knows I could end the match in the blink of an eye. There's no question about whether I'll land a blow or not. It will connect. I won the After Dark Fusion Championship for us with an uppercut.
KAWAMATA: What the fuck do you call yourself now? The Muay Thai Murder Momma?
TAKEUCHI: Das ist richtig.
KAWAMATA: Yeah, we got all that shit going for us! So we might be the underdogs but I'm feeling fucking good! Shit, two dirt-kickers from Kamagasaki! We might not be underdogs much these days but this shit isn't knew to us! We got this far because we fucking thrived on that label!
TAKEUCHI: But this isn't just a big match for us professionally. It goes beyond any friendship we've elaborated on already. These guys – the mother fucking Outliers – can go anywhere and fight anybody. They rule every company they go to and take the gold. They're a huge draw all over the world. They're in a position to do whatever the fuck they want and they've opened themselves up to us to have these matches.
Not just one, but three.
Regardless of what happens at Coup De Grace, we're fortunate to be a part of three instant classics that span two highly-regarded promotions like Union Battleground and Death Trip Wrestling.
And yes, the match at Coup De Grace will be an instant classic like the first two. I promise. The show is worth it for that alone and you should watch it.
KAWAMATA: They're more than our colleagues. These guys are our friends. They were before and now we're always gonna be tied together because of these matches. We're linked together forever in the history of professional wrestling. Two teams of mother fuckers from two different countries and cultures and shit bonding over beating the fucking shit out of each other and pissing blood out of our fucking faces.
TAKEUCHI: It's truly going to be a special night at Madison Square Garden.
KAWAMATA: September 9th! Union Battleground! Coup De Grace! Live on the mother fucking Battleground Network! It's a New York Street Fight at Madison Square Garden for the Battalion Championship!
Osaka Rebels and Outliers!
We stole the fucking show the last time we clashed in Union Battleground! We're gonna steal the fucking show again! This is the mother fucking match to look out for on the card!
It's the end to a glorious trilogy and Outliers – my friends, my mother fucking comrades in cool. You may be good. Fuck, the greatest. But we're fucking mint ourselves and you know it. And we're bringing it even fucking harder than we did the first two times because this is the match that can fucking put us where we belong with the top tier of pro wrestling's tag teams!
Hanako and I are willing to do whatever it takes to leave New York with the Battalion Championship. We know you guys are willing to go just as far. It's gonna be a fucking good one at Coup De Grace, lads. See ya soon.
