Post by Robina Hood on Dec 24, 2018 19:53:21 GMT -5
“My, oh my, what a mess you’ve caused dear Kaelan.”
Mockingly enters our ears as we find ourselves inside a chapel in Vegas. Why are we here, among the broken wreckage? Because crouching down by a fallen altar is the Purple Haired Dynamo known as Robina Hood. Why is she here out of all places? The answer is currently uncertain for the woman preparing for her King Cobra opening round match as she strokes the fallen down altar before beginning to set it back up.
“Then again ‘mess’ could be the best word to describe your career, wouldn’t it Kaelan? Won a couple Championships, won a Quag Cup and won her fair share of matches...only to fail to get any more success for someone with such a big mouth, to be nothing more than an inadequate fighter and simply incapable of being enough of a rock to keep her husband. Yes, I do genuinely think that she has a huge mouth...at least on social media, from claiming that Irish women who call themselves ‘roses’ are copying her to doing all the trash talk in the world while representing the wrong country at the Quag Cup. Can’t help but wonder though…if she spent as much time being a wife as she did on Twitter...maybe Bryan wouldn’t have felt the need to leave to improve himself…
What? Do I sound offensive? Who cares if I do? Kae apparently no longer cares about what people think, at least if people wants to take whatever she says on Twitter seriously. Which I don’t. For while she has been mouthing off the same old words over, and over, again…I’ve been busy being a double Champion, leading my group in this Extreme Tournament and getting myself prepared to make winning this King Cobra tournament the latest addition to my list of achievements. And if I need to clean up the mess known as Kaelan Laughlin to get one step closer then feel free to call me the cleaner on December thirtieth.”
Arrogantly leaves the mouth of The Emo Princess as she makes the effort to right up some fallen seats, sweep away broken shards and even begins to throw the long dead flowers into black bags.
“I know that it is foolish to dismiss my opponent for she’ll probably jump up and declare how long she held one Title while taking the first opportunity to not only question my statement about her fighting career but also point out how she had to defeat me during the Quag Cup. Actually…I do find it funny that first you tried to dismiss my quality as a fighter but then, shortly after the tournament was over, you quickly joined Slaughterhouse and dove head first into Union GP. With a mouth as big as yours everyone was expecting you to win your first fight…but then you lost. You lost your very first fight by submission…submitting to an actress with less training, let alone experience, than you.
I know that loads of people have called me a joke in the past but that defeat will forever be a highlight of the useless Irish tart’s career. I mean, at least I won my first fight, against an actual kick boxer…wait a second…is that why you wanted to try out acting with Alone You’ll Die? Because you got impressed by the actress who kicked your ass?
But I guess that’d make me look bad, for previously losing to you roughly half a year ago, right? Normally people would feel completely embarrassed…but I don’t. Why is that, you ask? The answer’s simpler than the question. Because that time you had to scratch and claw like hell to beat me…I wasn’t actually trying. I only entered that tournament to have fun. I wasn’t trying hard at all and you had to bring literally everything you had to finally beat me. Of course you should’ve improved by now, though not really proven by not only your failure to win a mere tag team match a few days ago but also submitting once again at Union GP last night, but so have I and considering that there is a real award now…”
The milky skinned woman’s voice trails off for a moment as she looks down at the final deceased flower in her hand. For a moment she allows amount of sadness to appear on her youthful face before returning her attention back to us.
“There will not be any repeat of that night at all.”
Sharply, darkly and coldly struck us all at once as she shoves the final flower into bag before making her way over to the fallen podium of a broken archway to, out of all things, sit down on it as her eyes remain fixated upon us. Her expression however softens to one of familiar arrogance as an ever so cocky smile appears across Miss Hood’s face.
“If anything the Scene of our upcoming battle has already been expertly written by myself. For it’ll start with you trying ever so hard to prove that you’re actually someone who is so damn good…only to fail and let people down again and again before finally, after much toying from myself, I’m going to lock you in Deanimation and either feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as you take your final breath or see you tap out. Whichever way doesn’t matter too much as in the end - in front of my fellow country men and women - I’ll have my hand raised in celebration to the easiest win I’ve ever had this entire month.
At any point have I sound unnecessarily nasty? Am I doing this out of any form hatred toward you? Nope, not at all. That requires me to hate you Kae and I hold zero hatred towards you. Nonono, I don’t like you or think you’re amazing but I definitely don’t hate you. If anything I pity you. However those feelings mean nothing for our upcoming Scene because this is the opening round of the King Cobra tournament.
Do you know what a King Cobra is? A snake? Of course it is a fucking snake but the main thing about King Cobras are this…they eat other snakes. They don’t love, hate, envy or pity the other snakes. They just eat them and in this tournament we are all snakes where the winner has to consume the hope, dreams and desires of each and every other snake they come across to be fully acknowledged as king. Such a bloody ritual…such a perfect ritual…the kind you’ll get to know firsthand when I take your hope of ending this year in victory, let alone actually dirtying this tournament by winning it and devouring it while my people cheer me on.”
While her words started off infuriatingly pompous, the emotions were starting to drain from the haughty woman at a rate of knots. So quick in fact that by the time she finished her words the Purple Haired Dynamo’s voice actually sounds blank. A blankness only matched by her unblinking eyes that appears to be eying us up, as if she’s a serpent and we’re a rodent, before the Englishwoman shakes her head and gets up to start lifting the collapsed podium back up.
“So I hope you enjoy your Christmas alone with your eyes open…”
The milky skinned woman rights the broken archway back up straight and leans her back against it to face us once more.
“Because The Greatest Showman will turn ‘Relapsed Two, Baptized By Fire’ into your Nightmare After Christmas Kaelan.”
Sharply departs Robina’s lips as she allows us to look at her for a couple more moments before she pushes herself off the podium and walk past us to leaving, leaving behind only one thing on the floor for us to see…an invitation to the wedding of Kaelan and Bryan Laughlin.
Post by Kaelan Laughlin on Dec 25, 2018 8:28:23 GMT -5
Kaelan sat on the edge of the bed in her run down hotel room and sighed as she looked around. This was never how she imagined she would spend her Christmas. Alone and in a place like this, but she needed to be alone and she didn’t need distractions. She looked up at the camera as her eyes narrowed.
“I never imagined I would spend a Christmas alone. I have a husband, I have a large family back home in Ireland, and I have two amazing pups but here I sit. Alone on Christmas morning. No presents, no friends, no family. I thought I’d be more upset about it than I am to be honest but I’m somehow more at peace with the things I have to do over the next week.”
“Tomorrow I face my husband in a Deathmatch for his championship, Friday I have another title match, and then… then I come to union battleground to start my journey in winning my second tournament and how fitting my first opponent be the same cunt I faced first in The Quag Cup after my bye week.”
Kaelan smirked and waved at the camera. She really was tickled to death that she would be facing Megan in another tournament match and she was her first opponent again. Even if it was under the persona of Robina Hood. Kaelan knew that she would be looking to redeem herself this match. To make up for her failure from the first time but Kaelan had other plans. When lesser people tried to stand up to you? You just had to keep putting the pressure on their neck and hold them down harder.
“Hello Megan. Long time no see. You’ve done quite a lot since the last time we faced. You won championship matches. You were in my movie, and you’ve kept grinding in MMA in spite of not being welcome in numerous branches of Slaughterhouse. It’s almost like me beating your ass in the Quag Cup has lit a fire under you to all of a sudden be a decent wrestler and mma fighter. I don’t blame you. I think if I got my ass beat by someone like me it would humble me too. It would make me want to focus up and try to be better than I was before. You haven’t stuck your foot in your mouth in a while but I think I just haven’t noticed because after I beat your ass in the Quag Cup? I put you on mute for being straight retarded.”
“How are you part of MMA longer than I even thought to be in MMA and yet you didn’t know who Marisa Kannesson was? She’s one of the most iconic women of our sport. She’s paved the way for people like us to even exist in this sport. I hope you’ve learned since then. I hope that now you take the time to know who the fuck you’re stepping into the ring with because you didn’t seem to know the last time when we stepped into a steel cage.”
“You were so out of your element I beat you in ten minutes. There was a million dollars at stake at the end of the rainbow that was the Quag Cup and that didn’t seem to motivate you enough to kick my ass. Now the opportunity at the end of this rainbow is a belt and an opportunity almost more grand than winning a million bucks, and guess what Megan? You’re going to choke even harder than the last time we faced.”
Kaelan stood up from the bed as it groaned from the weight being released. Kaelan sighed as she put her hands on her hips. The Crown of the King Cobra tournament was a huge opportunity. You got the bragging rights and an opportunity for a title shot whenever you wanted. The pleasure of putting that pressure on whoever would be the champion? That brought a smile to Kaelan’s face. She liked the thought of making people sweat knowing that any moment she could come for them and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it.
“This is my second tournament I’ve ever entered. The first one I was the favorite to win from start to finish and this one will be no exception. I’m going to rule the Crown of the King Cobra tournament every single round. I’m going to put every single person that stands in my way down. I don’t need to change my name to Robina Hood like I’m a cheap Halloween costume on the shelf at Walmart to try to mask the fact I’m a mediocre wrestler at best.”
“I’m not like Lisa Seldon. So insecure she needs to join into every little thing and then wonders why she fails so much. That scatterbrain mentality will get you no where when you actually faced a cunt like me who is always focused on the next opponent in front of her. I crushed Finn Whelan’s hopes of winning the Quag Cup. I hope that I can only repeat that with this tournament. I’m sure some of you think this tournament will be a breeze, and it might have been before but now Kaelan Laughlin has entered her name and I’m not going to walk up and place that Crown on my head gently. I’m going to blow the doors down and knock out everybody until I make it to the crown and then I’m going to rip it off and claim it for myself. The only way I know how to do shite in this industry is by making noise. Making controversy while others are scared. This will be no different.”
“Not a single person in this tournament can say that they’ve had people keep pulling out of facing them. I get cunts so shook they make up concussions and other obligations just so they don’t have to step into the cage or the ring with me. Just look how Izzy Anders dropped out when they dropped the bracket for her to face me. Annie Zellor couldn’t take the heat I dropped on her before our MMA fight and don’t even lie because I know the moment you all saw my name in the Crown of the King Cobra Tournament you were all shook and knew any chance you had of winning dwindled from hopeful to slim to none.”
Kaelan smirked as she ran her fingers through her hair. When Kaelan has entered her name into this tournament she hadn’t been prepared for it to start after her Deathmatch with Bryan but regardless she wouldn’t drop out of it for any reason. She made a commitment to win and she would do that.
“I have a Deathmatch tomorrow with my husband. I know I’m going to be pretty beat up afterwards. I could have pulled out of this tournament and focused on this match alone but no, I’m not like other people I don’t bail out when it gets tough. Megan, Robina, whatever you’re calling yourself this week? Even with my body bruised and stitched up you don’t have a quarter of the talent I have in the ring. You won’t capitalize on me in a weakened state, and how sad is that for the world to see. Kaelan Laughlin at less than one hundred percent beat you again.”
“When Izzy dropped out I had a choice even. I could have taken a bye and skipped my way into the next round but I remember how bitter people had been about that for the Quag Cup. So I agreed to pluck someone from the play in bout and face them. You’re welcome Megan. I gave you a spot. I’ve made you relevant and when I’m done with you at Relapse two? You’ll go back to being irrelevant and nobody giving a fuck what you have to say or do in this entire industry. December 30th you will look to redeem yourself from the last time we faced in a tournament and I will show you why my win over you wasn’t a fluke. It was because I’ve always been better than you. I’m going to use you as an example. To send a message to everyone else in this tournament. That message is this. The Crown of the King Cobra is already mine. The rest of you are just filler for me to destroy. For me to pin. For me to make tap the fuck out. Actions speak louder than words of course and I’ll make sure I don’t disappoint. See you all at Relapse Two.”
Kaelan had a cocky smirk on her face as she walked back over to her bed and sat down on it. Kicking her feet up and turning on the television before looking at the camera and rolling her eyes before pointing to the door. She shook her head in clear annoyance at the camera still on her as the scene went black.
