L!GHTS OUT #32 | THE NEW AGE KILLERS vs DEAD CUTE

Fallon Lockhart, dressed as a giant jar of Grape Jelly bounds onto the screen. Her hair is purple to match her costume and swept back off her face; the costume itself covers almost her entire body, just little black clothes legs and rims barely visible behind the placard styled costume. She bounces about on the spot with a huge grin on her face and waved at the camera.

Fallon: Hallloooooo again! I’m baaaack n this time I didn’t even come alone!!

She looks off camera, as though that was a cue. When nothing happens, Fallon beats another wide smile as her tone turns almost sing song-y

Fallon: I saaaaiiiiiiiid, I didn’t even come alone!

Her smile turns into a little frown, pursing her lips she shakes her head quickly and begins to wave her hands towards herself.

Fallon: Josssshhhhh come onnnnn u can’t talk from behind the camera n besides, this doesn’t even work if nobody can see u!

She does a little dance on her tiptoes, trying to encourage her boyfriend and tag partner, Josh Kennedy, to step in front of the camera with her. After a minute or two of this she sighs softly and holds out her hands, making as though she will drag him into view if need be.

Fallon: come on! U look rly rly cute, I swear!!!

A loud, resigned sigh comes from behind the camera. As the low, mumbled cadence of Josh’s voice becomes audible.

Josh: I dunno how the hell you even got me to agree to this… This is ridiculous. Gimme a minute.

A muffled rustling sound, the scratching of pen against a writing surface, and a brown fabric costume sailing across the frame later, and Josh Kennedy appears dressed as usual, except for a sticker that reads “Hi! My Name Is:” in white print on the red upper border, and the hurriedly written words “Peanut Butter” scribbled on the main body of it. The sticker adorns the left breast of his t-shirt, obscuring the band logo underneath it.

Josh: There, that’s better. Ain’t no way I was wearing that fuckin’ thing.

He says, pointing to the crumpled costume in the corner.

With a gasp, Fallon jumps up and places her hand over Josh’s mouth, she shakes her head vehemently; frowning as she does.

Fallon: UR GONNA GET US IN TROUBLE IF KIDS ARE WATCHIN!!

For a moment she looks genuinely distraught at the thought, before moving her hand away and tilting her head to read the name sticker he has replaced his costume with, she giggles slightly and shakes her head once again, the costume moving with her.

Fallon: u rly didn’t like that peanut butter costume huh? I knew u didn’t have a cold, didn’t even hear u with sniffles once!

Her tone gets more high pitched as she feigns indignance, she then turns and looks back to the camera with a wide smile, pointing at Josh beside her.

Fallon: He’s peanut butter mmk? That’s like, rly important that u know that!

Josh shrugs nonchalantly as Fallon chastises him.

Josh: Kids shouldn’t be watching me anyways, and if they do, this ain’t nothin’ they haven’t heard before.

He grins as Fallon deduces what his issue really was, holding his hands up as if in surrender.

Josh: Yeah, you figured me out. Guilty as charged. Anyways, yeah, peanut butter.

He rolls his eyes to the camera slightly, hoping Fallon doesn’t notice. Despite noticing, she pretends she doesn’t, excitement still clearly etched on her face. Bringing her hand back in close she points at herself.

Fallon: Mmm… I’m watchin u mista Skelly Boi… ANYWAYS! I am jelly, cause like, u know how peanut butter n jelly are rly rly good all on their own, like they’re delicious n they standalone n they rock it out. Whiiiiiich, is just like us!

She throws her hands up as if she’d made some big reveal that absolutely nobody had seen coming, falling back on her heels she looks up at Josh for a moment and beams.

Fallon: see n Josh is peanut butter cause it’s that lil bit better than jello like, if u gotta choose one, most people are gonna choose peanut butter cause it’s just, well it’s like, better, duh? So yeah Josh is peanut butter because he’s like, the king of death matches n super tough n so Grrr n there ain’t nobody in this tournament who is gonna be ready for what he can do. Cause he’s awesome.

Looking back to the camera she smiles widely once again, nodding her head for emphasis.

Fallon: RLY AWESOME!

Josh: And that’s what this is all about.

Josh says, indicating to Fallon’s costume.

Josh: Separate, we still had all kinds of successes, but together, we make each other better. That’s true in life, and it’s true in the ring. We been waiting a long time to get to this, something we can work in as a team, and we’ve been refining our style as a tag team for months in preparation for something, anything, to come our way and give us the chance to show it. Then Union came along and offered us a spot for War of the Worlds, and we just had to take it.

Fallon smiles and pushes up close next to Josh, wrapping her arms around him and pushing up on her tiptoes with a squeak.

Fallon: Yusss! Togetha! Like how, peanut butter n Jelly is like, the ultimate sandwich when u get it juuuussssssst right! It can take a lil practice to find the right kinda mix, but when u get it? It’s freakin dead on n me n Josh? Just like he said, we been workin reeeaaaal hard at this n we ready! Our opponents? They ain’t gonna know what hits em!

She pauses for a minute and sighs.

Fallon: My last time here it didn’t rly go how I hoped, but I ain’t one to dwell on that stuff ya know? Like I always said… it ain’t bout gettin knocked down is bout what u do with it once u get back up. Sooo I got back up n I brought back up!! ...heh, see what I did there?

Josh smiles softly.

Josh: See, just like those sandwich ingredients, on the surface, Fallon and I are real different, in almost every way you can think of. I mean, I ain’t the kinda guy to go along with cutesy over the top costumes, as y’all saw. I been at this wrestling thing for eight years, I’ve been all over the world, carrying companies on my back in my fight to get to the very top of this industry, and I’m at the very least, almost there. The Ace of Death Trip Wrestling, the poster boy for deathmatches the world over. And Fallon, the lovable, quickly rising star, the former anchor of Southside, the quintessential Parkcore Champion goin’ into the second year of her career. On paper, it don’t make much sense, does it? But, it was probably the same story with that peanut butter and jelly, wasn’t it? The first person to think ‘hey, maybe I should put these things together’ went against all surface-level understanding of those two things, right? How many people thought that person was a little crazy for tryin’ that? But it worked, and now it’s one of the most popular food combinations around. ‘Cause underneath the perception of what should make sense, there’s a whole load of synchronicity there.

As Josh talks her up, Fallon begins to blush; when he’s done talking she looks up at him for a minute and smiles softly. Holding up a hand to ask him to wait she disappears off camera for a moment. Some shuffling sounds and the sound of pen against paper can be heard.

She reappears in the black tights and long sleeved shirt she was wearing under her costume, a matching ‘hi my name is’ sticker is stuck to her chest and scrawled across is the word JELLY! In all caps. She stops to stand next to Josh and looks up at him with another smile once again.

Fallon: But See, underneath whatever lil extras I like to add to things? We’re kinda the same… now our approach is for sure, completely different n u would be forgiven for lookin over us as a team n thinkin it just ain’t gonna work. Prolly for alllllll the reasons Josh just said, or just cause even inside the ring, when we’re goin our n doin our thing solo? That’s a whole lotta different too, but what u ain’t doin, is somethin that most people don’t rly do no more… look beyond the surface.

She draws her hands down her shirt and pulls out the hem, making a point to show off that she’s stripped back now, rocking up into her toes as she thinks over her own words.

Fallon: n like I said, underneath that surface? We’re kinda the same; we both want the same things, n.. even if we don’t always go about the same way to get it. We’re both driven n passionate n give our everythin, every single time we step into that ring. That ain’t to say I don’t think u guys are real passionate too, it’s just that - well if u ain’t gonna have faith in urself then what even is the point? Believe it or not, I got a whole lot more confidence in this goin out there as a team, despite not bein tested or nothin, cause Josh has taught me just as much bout this sport than bein in it has, if not more - soooo When u look at it like that, how can I not feel rly rly good bout our chances out there, hm?

Josh runs his hand over the uneven scarring of the burn on his neck, the raised, bumpy, slightly discoloured flesh running underneath the collar of his shirt.

Josh: We’re here because we want the chance to show that we can hang here as a team, just like we can on our own, if not better. We got the careers to back this talk up, we got the drive, the passion. I’ve bled for everything I got. We both got here on our own backs, and it wasn’t an easy road. But I reckon you get the idea by now. That’s enough about us, don’t you think?

He grins that signature crooked grin, wide and confident.

Josh: The New Age Killers, Maverick and Raymond. See, I’ve watched. I always do my homework. And y’all are pretty good, all truth be told. But your career highlights don’t really match up to your time served in this hustle, do they? I mean, I’ve been a singles-focused deathmatch wrestler, and I’ve still won more team-based titles than y’all have. And it ain’t all about the gold, I ain’t stupid enough to flex like that, but over two years, I’d think you two would have had more opportunities to get there than just the one, right? So, I’m curious, are y’all really just as slept on as you claim, or are you choke artists? There ain’t no shame in it, really, I had years of chasin’ and fallin’ short before I broke through. I’m just curious how y’all are gonna credibly big yourselves up with a question mark hangin’ over your heads.

Fallon fiddles with her hands uncomfortably, keeping her eyes locked on Josh as he speaks, she lets out a huge sigh and shakes her head.

Fallon: I Uhh, I’m not so good at this part. Ya know the whole, this is where I tell u that u suck n this is why. Mostly cause, I don’t rly think anyone who’s givin their all to this sucks. We all got different levels of success n it happens for us all at different times. Whether u wanna call it the hustle or whatever, it all kinda boils down to the same thing, don’t it? U guys ain’t had it happen for u yet. Now, I prolly can’t rly say much on it Cause I ain’t done this whole tag team thing afore n the couplea Times I hadda team up with people didn’t work out so great for me… BUT.

Her excitement re-emerging pushes her up onto her tiptoes with a smile.

Fallon: Wut I do know is that u guys ain’t really fans of bein all that nice. Sooo I’m sure ur gonna be all grr n mean n think that I’m gonna get suuuuuper intimidated cause I don’t rly like to downplay people. So I’m just gonna give u the headsup now to not bank on that, dun bank on my inexperience n dun bank on me bein intimdiated by u guys; turn that inwards n figure out if u can rlllllly bank on each other, cause guys, it ain’t rly been lookin like u can, now has it?

Josh nods, brushing strands of his long hair aside.

Josh: I don’t wanna be misunderstood, I think y’all got potential, I ain’t hung up on the whole being a nice person thing. That you’re even in this thing at all is testament enough to what you can do, but the thing is, it ain’t only us in this thing, reachin’ for the Osaka Rebels at War of the Worlds. Y’all are facing up to somethin’ bigger than what you’ve shown from the outset. The Rebels are one of the greatest tag teams in the world, close friends of mine, and people I got an immense amount of respect for. My point is this, with names like us? Like Kawamata and Takeuchi? Like Hayden and Seldon? How will y’all stack up? We got the main event, all four of us. In my first showin’ in this company, I’m already headlining the show. I wanna see somethin’ more than your records show, because I know y’all got it in there somewhere. See, it’s hard to feel intimidated when I been up there main eventin’ shows with those same names countless times. I wanna see the best y’all got to offer. The relentless kinda fight I know you got in there somewhere, and maybe, just maybe, callin’ your confidence into question will be the reality check you need to step it up. The favorites in this show are probably very clearly me and Fallon here, a point I’m sure y’all won’t hesitate to address. So show us you can be more than just the underdogs. More than just another team. That’s all I want. I respect anyone with the balls to step up and get in here, so show me that ain’t in vain.

His eyes look to Fallon before staring into the camera with a hard gaze.

Josh: I’ve faced killers, legends, the very best in this industry, and I’ve come out still standin’. It took absolutely everything I had, and you’ll be gettin’ the exact same treatment as all of ‘em, because you stand between me and where I wanna be. ‘Cause that’s what I’ve always done. If I want somethin’, I fight ‘til I drop for it, so I hope y’all are willing to do the same. This is only the beginning of what’s ahead for you, I know that. But it’s up to you to show us where that path’ll lead you, to show that you can withstand the tests to come, ‘cause there’s plenty more where this one’s comin’ from, no matter what happens.

Fallon opens her mouth as though to add something, but then turns and looks up at Josh with a surprised look on her face.

Fallon: u rly think we the favorites in this one?!

Her tone isn’t questioning, more confused at excitement at the position she finds herself in.

Josh wraps an arm around her and smiles.

Josh: In this one? Yeah. In the later rounds? I ain’t so sure. Favorites or not, we’ll give ‘em all a show to remember.

Fallon: Huh, I ain’t ever been the favorite in nothin before.

She looks up to Josh with a little impressed nod, then turns her attention back to the camera with newly widened eyes, excitement taking over again.

Fallon: Whatever happens from here, it’s tough. Whoever makes it? They got what some people would sure call insurmountable challenges ahead of em. But Josh n me? That’s what we thrive on, our lifeblood as of late has been people telling us we can’t, we won’t, n provin em wrong. That ain’t about to change just cause we a team now, if anythin, it lets us push each other harder n further than we ever have before.

She breaks into a goofy smile.

Fallon: There is absolutely nobody in the entire world that I would rather do this with, there ain’t a single person alive who knows me, like he knows me. If u think that don’t translate to the ring, then maybe u should take a look at teams like Ruby Way who for sure prove that chemistry out of the ring gives u fireworks inside of it… I know we gonna have that, I KNOW that Dead Cute gonna be one of them names up there that teams wanna face one day, this… it’s step one, n it’s a real important step. One I don’t intend on slippin up on.

Josh: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This is the biggest one we’ve had to walk together, and there ain’t nothin’ that’ll make us give up on it. So, New Age Killers, give us somethin’ to overcome, yeah?

Josh winks to the camera, before crooking a finger to it, as if inviting the challenge to him right there and then.