Post by fallonlockhart on Nov 1, 2019 17:58:32 GMT -5
Honestly... what a pile of wank.
The thick slab of cookie dough rolled nearly pressed out on the counter; a spicy scent of spice cut with sugar lingering in the air as a pair of hands sporting decidedly chipped nail varnish smooths out the creases and cracks in the dough with wet fingertips. Humming happily to herself she picks up the bog standard gingerbread man cutout that she already had on hand.
Mashing it into the dough with a messy lack of accuracy; each gingerbread man is the same in that its pretty fucking awful and mangled, but she carries on with her task all the same in a near maniacal fashion. Ramming the cutter into the dough over and over again.
“No U!”
Khloe almost grunts with the effort of slamming the cookie cutter into the now way less than appetising dough as she shouts the words into the void of the way too nice to be her house, kitchen where she is massacring these potential sweet treats.
“Go on, say something else you said before.”
She jolts her head back and forth as she puts on a nasal tone tossing the cooker aside and beginning to dig her chewed nails into the dough, forcing crooked and likely dirty smiles on the - what we can only presume to be - faces of the mangled mess of gingerbread men.
“Look at you all cookie cutter, blablablaa, No U. Something else about how people are all the same. Hahaha I’m so different with my blasé attitude and superiority complex even though nobody any good has heard of me, tralalalalalalala, trollface.”
The words all jumble together in her mouth and make a sound almost as messy as the cookies themselves before Khloe turns and brings around a bowl of gumdrops, beginning to shove them into the bellies of the cookies. Any good baker would know you do this after baking them or the gelatin will just melt. But honestly, what the fuck do you want from a moody teenager trying to make a point???
When she is finally happy with her work she springs open the over door and rams the tray inside with such a violent shove that half the cookies fall mercilessly to the floor and like the lazy shit she is, Khloe just leaves them there with a shrug before finally addressing the camera.
“Ok the visual aid portion of this tape is done with.
I know what comes next is the part where I rag on your bits some more then run you down like you’re trash and even me, a rookie kid with not a single real math under her belt, can beat with her eyes closed and one hand lopped off but really… I think you made more of a show of yourself than anything I could say ever will, Wendy Woo… So I am gonna focus on my most favorite subject.
No, not Ana. Though my dad is PRETTY fucking cool and could definitely beat up your dad. And everyone else’s dads. But no, not her. ME!”
A kind of too excited especially from her aesthetic roll out of her arms sees Khloe almost lose her balance and in turn booted the oven where the cookies are weirdly burning on the outside and staying completely raw on the inside.
“BIG week for me. I turn seventeen and I make my pro-debut into the wrestling world and Wendy-Woo, I can’t mess this one up. Cause when I said I burned bridges I mean I nicked 17 boxes of frozen chicken nuggets from the Runcorn Maccas and I can’t go back there ever again.
So this is pretty much sink or swim for me.
But also cause I actually kinda like wrestling. Its cool and I get to kick stuck up priss girls like you in the head for talking at me like I didn’t attent a fancy all girls prep school and pass my eleven plus WHEN I WAS NINE. But I’m not tryna brag, I’m just pointing out that really all in all I’m pretty hashtag blessed.
But anyway the wrestling thing, that’s why I’m here. Cause I kinda like it and i’m kinda good at it and these guys were the only ones willing to hire some kid under eighteen with no experience and a not very photogenic face.”
Khloe stops and looks around, her expression is a bit miffed and its almost like she forgot where she was going with that. Maybe she did but she decides to check on the cookies, so I guess the visual portion of this thing isnt over after all. The cookies aren’t done, they’re still raw and gross in the middle and so she shoves the tray back in, burns her fingers, calls the oven a wankstain and…
“Right, ha supposed to be insulting you. My dad can beat up your dad, you're not original, I am here… There I was!
It might seem to you like I’m not taking any of this very seriously and there is a very real chance that you are very right about that - I haven’t exactly decided yet. But the point is this, I have worked really hard to get here and before Union - nowhere was down to give me this shot. However I got the spot isn’t what’s important either;
What is, is that I am willing to fight for it and when the bell rings all the jokes are gonna stop - except for you cause you need to take part of there won’t be much of a match, eh? - anyway, the jokes will stop and you will see pretty quick why it is you can’t discount me cause of my age.
You think you get trained to do this by one of the best in the industry and you go into this shit haphazard? You think *I* wanna be the idiot who has Ana’s name stamped on their contract and then under performs? I like living and I like not having my existence dragged with every breath I take because I let some silicone Barbie trip me up at the first hurdle.
Okay… that one was a bit mean but you haven’t exactly given me much to go off of and for someone who liked to talk a wholeeeee bunch about being superior on twitter, I really couldn’t find a damn thing on you so all I can assume is that you are a much much much much MUCH older nobody. Which… not a great look for you love.
But, less with the mean and more with the facts! I was trained by one of the best and one day? I am gonna be one of the best; but right now and tomorrow and until this match I have got top focus on you - not one of the best - but my first and I figure that it’s probably true what they say…
A girl never forgets her first!”
Well fuck. Now the cookies are burned.
Just like Wendy-Woo!
“So there we go, ten minutes of me talking absolute wank in hopes of intimidating my opponent and maybe getting one person to be a fan. Honestly not holding out much hope for either of those things to happen but really you never know so…
Fingers crossed yeah?
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite let me level with you right now Wendy. You could be anyone but I am really pretty lucky that you’re not because if I lose to you, in a year when I’m somebody and YOU are serving ME nuggets in the Runcorn maccas, nobody is gonna remember that I lost to you.
But if I beat you, then in a year when I am somebody I still won’t shut up about how I won my first ever match; by then I might have (probably will have) forgotten your name but the bragging rights on that will never die.
And it seems like a lot of wrestling is just brazen bragging rights anyway, doesn’t it really?
So in conclusion.
No U
My dad > Your dad
I am more than mediocre at wrestling.
I don’t like you.
...I am never baking cookies again.”
Run run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me… I’m the gingerbread man.
The thick slab of cookie dough rolled nearly pressed out on the counter; a spicy scent of spice cut with sugar lingering in the air as a pair of hands sporting decidedly chipped nail varnish smooths out the creases and cracks in the dough with wet fingertips. Humming happily to herself she picks up the bog standard gingerbread man cutout that she already had on hand.
Mashing it into the dough with a messy lack of accuracy; each gingerbread man is the same in that its pretty fucking awful and mangled, but she carries on with her task all the same in a near maniacal fashion. Ramming the cutter into the dough over and over again.
“No U!”
Khloe almost grunts with the effort of slamming the cookie cutter into the now way less than appetising dough as she shouts the words into the void of the way too nice to be her house, kitchen where she is massacring these potential sweet treats.
“Go on, say something else you said before.”
She jolts her head back and forth as she puts on a nasal tone tossing the cooker aside and beginning to dig her chewed nails into the dough, forcing crooked and likely dirty smiles on the - what we can only presume to be - faces of the mangled mess of gingerbread men.
“Look at you all cookie cutter, blablablaa, No U. Something else about how people are all the same. Hahaha I’m so different with my blasé attitude and superiority complex even though nobody any good has heard of me, tralalalalalalala, trollface.”
The words all jumble together in her mouth and make a sound almost as messy as the cookies themselves before Khloe turns and brings around a bowl of gumdrops, beginning to shove them into the bellies of the cookies. Any good baker would know you do this after baking them or the gelatin will just melt. But honestly, what the fuck do you want from a moody teenager trying to make a point???
When she is finally happy with her work she springs open the over door and rams the tray inside with such a violent shove that half the cookies fall mercilessly to the floor and like the lazy shit she is, Khloe just leaves them there with a shrug before finally addressing the camera.
“Ok the visual aid portion of this tape is done with.
I know what comes next is the part where I rag on your bits some more then run you down like you’re trash and even me, a rookie kid with not a single real math under her belt, can beat with her eyes closed and one hand lopped off but really… I think you made more of a show of yourself than anything I could say ever will, Wendy Woo… So I am gonna focus on my most favorite subject.
No, not Ana. Though my dad is PRETTY fucking cool and could definitely beat up your dad. And everyone else’s dads. But no, not her. ME!”
A kind of too excited especially from her aesthetic roll out of her arms sees Khloe almost lose her balance and in turn booted the oven where the cookies are weirdly burning on the outside and staying completely raw on the inside.
“BIG week for me. I turn seventeen and I make my pro-debut into the wrestling world and Wendy-Woo, I can’t mess this one up. Cause when I said I burned bridges I mean I nicked 17 boxes of frozen chicken nuggets from the Runcorn Maccas and I can’t go back there ever again.
So this is pretty much sink or swim for me.
But also cause I actually kinda like wrestling. Its cool and I get to kick stuck up priss girls like you in the head for talking at me like I didn’t attent a fancy all girls prep school and pass my eleven plus WHEN I WAS NINE. But I’m not tryna brag, I’m just pointing out that really all in all I’m pretty hashtag blessed.
But anyway the wrestling thing, that’s why I’m here. Cause I kinda like it and i’m kinda good at it and these guys were the only ones willing to hire some kid under eighteen with no experience and a not very photogenic face.”
Khloe stops and looks around, her expression is a bit miffed and its almost like she forgot where she was going with that. Maybe she did but she decides to check on the cookies, so I guess the visual portion of this thing isnt over after all. The cookies aren’t done, they’re still raw and gross in the middle and so she shoves the tray back in, burns her fingers, calls the oven a wankstain and…
“Right, ha supposed to be insulting you. My dad can beat up your dad, you're not original, I am here… There I was!
It might seem to you like I’m not taking any of this very seriously and there is a very real chance that you are very right about that - I haven’t exactly decided yet. But the point is this, I have worked really hard to get here and before Union - nowhere was down to give me this shot. However I got the spot isn’t what’s important either;
What is, is that I am willing to fight for it and when the bell rings all the jokes are gonna stop - except for you cause you need to take part of there won’t be much of a match, eh? - anyway, the jokes will stop and you will see pretty quick why it is you can’t discount me cause of my age.
You think you get trained to do this by one of the best in the industry and you go into this shit haphazard? You think *I* wanna be the idiot who has Ana’s name stamped on their contract and then under performs? I like living and I like not having my existence dragged with every breath I take because I let some silicone Barbie trip me up at the first hurdle.
Okay… that one was a bit mean but you haven’t exactly given me much to go off of and for someone who liked to talk a wholeeeee bunch about being superior on twitter, I really couldn’t find a damn thing on you so all I can assume is that you are a much much much much MUCH older nobody. Which… not a great look for you love.
But, less with the mean and more with the facts! I was trained by one of the best and one day? I am gonna be one of the best; but right now and tomorrow and until this match I have got top focus on you - not one of the best - but my first and I figure that it’s probably true what they say…
A girl never forgets her first!”
Well fuck. Now the cookies are burned.
Just like Wendy-Woo!
“So there we go, ten minutes of me talking absolute wank in hopes of intimidating my opponent and maybe getting one person to be a fan. Honestly not holding out much hope for either of those things to happen but really you never know so…
Fingers crossed yeah?
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite let me level with you right now Wendy. You could be anyone but I am really pretty lucky that you’re not because if I lose to you, in a year when I’m somebody and YOU are serving ME nuggets in the Runcorn maccas, nobody is gonna remember that I lost to you.
But if I beat you, then in a year when I am somebody I still won’t shut up about how I won my first ever match; by then I might have (probably will have) forgotten your name but the bragging rights on that will never die.
And it seems like a lot of wrestling is just brazen bragging rights anyway, doesn’t it really?
So in conclusion.
No U
My dad > Your dad
I am more than mediocre at wrestling.
I don’t like you.
...I am never baking cookies again.”
Run run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me… I’m the gingerbread man.